600 Kisses- PHILLIP LOYD

Posted: November 13, 2010 in Humor, Poetry
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,


600 kisses

(from the collection out by the airport)


i’m not sure how

or when

or why

but i did it

i let my guard down


my wife was on my computer

and she found the pages from


in my browsing history

she was just sitting there


when i walked into the room


what’s this

she said

and of course she had the site opened up

and there it was

big as life

in full color

this big-busted woman

her tongue wet on her lips


call me for the most orgasmic

GFE experience imaginable

and all i could do was freeze up


what does GFE stand for

said my wife


how should i know

i said

those pages just popped up

i didn’t search them out

u huh

she said

all 137 of them

she counted them

never underestimate

the determination of a woman


i think you do know

she said

she had me cold


if it was just porn

at least then i could say i was only looking

but this wasn’t just some naked picture

this was  a real woman

a woman with a phone number

a woman within reach

plastered all over the screen

call me for the real girlfriend experience

this was an escort

a prostitute

the real thing

with her legs spread wide open

this was so much more than just porn

and i had nothing

no defense

i just stood there


it says

io – 150 kisses

hh – 300 kisses

h – 600 kisses

said my wife


what was i supposed to say



i don’t know what all that means

she said

but i have a feeling i know what kisses are

and we can’t afford them

we can’t afford them

i asked myself

did she really just say that


so you just get this whole idea out of your head

she said

i’ve been cut down to half-shifts

and your unemployment

surely can’t afford 600 kisses

and with that

she up and left the room


did that really just happen

i thought

it felt like a bullet

just whizzed by my head


but she was right

we couldn’t afford it

i guess i just got carried away


i wiped my browsing history clean

i wouldn’t be doing that again


the next week found me cruising out by the airport

just 20 kisses

that’s all the love the girls along airline blvd required

my wife was right

600 kisses

what was i thinking

but 20 kisses


we could afford that




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