600 Kisses- PHILLIP LOYD

Posted: November 13, 2010 in Humor, Poetry
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

 

600 kisses

(from the collection out by the airport)

 

i’m not sure how

or when

or why

but i did it

i let my guard down

 

my wife was on my computer

and she found the pages from

crazysexescorts.com

in my browsing history

she was just sitting there

waiting

when i walked into the room

 

what’s this

she said

and of course she had the site opened up

and there it was

big as life

in full color

this big-busted woman

her tongue wet on her lips

saying

call me for the most orgasmic

GFE experience imaginable

and all i could do was freeze up

 

what does GFE stand for

said my wife

 

how should i know

i said

those pages just popped up

i didn’t search them out

u huh

she said

all 137 of them

she counted them

never underestimate

the determination of a woman

well

i think you do know

she said

she had me cold

busted

if it was just porn

at least then i could say i was only looking

but this wasn’t just some naked picture

this was  a real woman

a woman with a phone number

a woman within reach

plastered all over the screen

call me for the real girlfriend experience

this was an escort

a prostitute

the real thing

with her legs spread wide open

this was so much more than just porn

and i had nothing

no defense

i just stood there

 

it says

io – 150 kisses

hh – 300 kisses

h – 600 kisses

said my wife

 

what was i supposed to say

 

well

i don’t know what all that means

she said

but i have a feeling i know what kisses are

and we can’t afford them

we can’t afford them

i asked myself

did she really just say that

 

so you just get this whole idea out of your head

she said

i’ve been cut down to half-shifts

and your unemployment

surely can’t afford 600 kisses

and with that

she up and left the room

 

did that really just happen

i thought

it felt like a bullet

just whizzed by my head

 

but she was right

we couldn’t afford it

i guess i just got carried away

 

i wiped my browsing history clean

i wouldn’t be doing that again

 

the next week found me cruising out by the airport

just 20 kisses

that’s all the love the girls along airline blvd required

my wife was right

600 kisses

what was i thinking

but 20 kisses

surely

we could afford that

 

 

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