Storm-Cynthia Jenasay

Posted: January 7, 2011 in Poetry
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

 

Storm

I never thought that years later, I would find myself battling the storm of my past
It had never stopped raining, but the storm settled down to a controllable capacity
But now one of my addiction are growing and multiplying and carrying snake-like demons to come wreak havoc on my life
These demons have become fixtures in my life, passing out bad habits and befriending everyone I know
They have planted themselves in every positive thought I have
Trying to take away my sanity
They are attempting to resurrect my ultimate addiction
The addiction that almost took my life
I have struggled far too long, letting my demons taunt me with my secrets
Making my life, hell on earth
I have ran from them far too long and it is time to face reality
Finally realized that self-medicating was not helping at all
Almost causing my death 12 years ago, swallowing 15 pills
The time has come for me to acknowledge my chemical imbalance
Diagnosed with bi-polar 15 years ago, It took me 14 years to accept it
I had to acknowledge that my continual denial had summoned these demons
Pills and alcohol numbed me but as my tolerance grew so did my addiction
The time has come for me to choose life or death because 10 pills and a 5th of vodka no longer took away the pain
How Much more abuse could my body take
I didn’t want to find out so I chose life
Zoloft now balances the chemicals in my brain
It feels weird to feel normal
To have control of my emotions
The need to drink no longer plagues me
And the countless number of pill bottles in my cabinet are still full
Satan no longer has control of my life
I am taking control of life and will take full responsibility for my actions
My name is Cynthia and I am an addict

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Comments
  1. manic schizo says:

    Wow. She said, “It feels weird to be normal”. This is… wow. Will there be more work from her featured?

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