Hearing My Story For The First Time- Sham A. Lam

Posted: January 28, 2011 in Poetry
Tags: , , , , , , ,

At the end when he finished sharing I wiped away my tears
Realizing for the first time that someone had shared my story with words that were not my own that I didn’t even have to speak
That someone knew me and didn’t know my name
Someone had felt what I had felt that they came out
The other side whole
Living life enjoying the world for what it was
Touching a part of them I didn’t know existed
For a single moment
I was transferred to a place
I had been so many times
Surrounded by hundreds of people
Who
At the previous moment had become my new family
I separated
Like I always had
To a pain
That was safer than new experiences
To a place that was comfortable
Like lying on a bed of nails
Simply because it was more familiar
Like smashing my head off walls
Because when the blood comes
It is more comforting
Than affection that I have never known
A love that feels so foreign
That I want to mistake it for something that I know
See love was a lie
People love the man mountain
Who provides and expects nothing in return
But secretly just wants to hold someone
For the whole night
More than once
This man who never smiles
But provides the laugh
Who cries at a comedy
Yet still hasn’t cried when his father passed
But when that moment passed
That single moment
That often feels like eternity
That moment that makes me stand alone in a desert
Surrounded by the entire population of Times Square
Yet still feels disconnected
From humanity
But this time was different
This time there was no one who needed a joke
No one who needed a dollar
No one who judged my moist cheeks
No one who questioned my motives
No one to tell me I was wrong
This time people surrounded me
Who said they loved me
Shared in my release
Told me they felt privileged
Just because I was … period
I existed in this moment
In this moment
I was glad to be where I was
For once I couldn’t think of being anywhere else
For once I truly felt God’s words
Felt his touch from others mouths and hands
I realized
That I finally understood the idea
Behind never alone never again
I was grateful

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